Mother in Laws

 

This past week my Mother In Law passed away.  I reflected on the her and her life.  Our relationship.  What I learned from her.  

In our culture you hear a lot of negative commentary made toward relationships with ones Mother In Law. There may or may not be some truth to the lense that one may see their Mother In Law.  

When I met her I got the impression she was not impressed and had genuine concern over her daughter marrying me.  

For I was not the Returned Missionary she was hopping for her daughter.  I had long hair and looked like I walked out of a Poison MTV video.  I was a 4th year college student in a 2 year college working as a meat cutter/truck driver. I was not an active member of the LDS Church.  I grew up in a divorced home.   Most of my family was "Jack Mormon".  Meaning they drank coffee and known to have a cold beer on occasion.  

Needless to say I did not meet the cultural standards and her expectations of a Son In Law.  

I dated LDS girls before meeting my wife.  I came to realize that within the "Mormon" culture we are programed to put the Church and the External Visual appearance first.  Above all else.  This creates shallow relationships.  The cultural pressures to marry a Return Missionary in the Temple compounded  by the exception of moral perfection before marriage lends to a rush to marriage. In my opinion has at times lead unhealthy relationships.   

Before dating my wife, there was quick appraisals based on culture expectations and outward appearance that lead to me not even being considered for a serious relationship with "Mormon" women.  Once in serious a relationship when it was identified I was, at least on the surface "not worthy Priesthood material", relationships with me were dissolved.  In part from pressures from the potential "Mother In Law".  

My Mother In Law was different.  Yes, I did win her over with my cooking skills which open her heart to get to know me.  

However, my Mother in Law demonstrated Christ like acceptance through trusting her daughter to make good decisions.  Instead of putting the Church and its shallow culture first, she put her daughter first. She demonstrated faith.  

Today I reflect on my Mother In Law.  She taught me valuable lessons.  I think this has gone both ways.

I am grateful for her.  Because of her her I am blessed.  For without her I would not have in my life the awesome wife, three incredible children and at the current time 2 grandbabies.  I would not be apart of her extend family for whom I love very much.  She has taught me to live my fullest life.  To let go and have faith.  She motivated me to get out of my comfort zone and work to be the best I can be.

I have no double she is still here.  Her energy-spirit resides in all of us.  For the energy that pumped her heart pumps mine.  She has now become one with God. Returning to source. We all have God's energy residing within us.   According to the Tao, We are God.

To my Mother In Law, I say Thank you!  I am Grateful and I love you!

Peace be with you!